Homeland Follies
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poem by Uri Hertz / sculpture by Linda Haim

Tie Rumsfeld Down

Strap Rumsfeld to a board and immerse him in water until he thinks he is going to drown.
Then ask him to define the word torture.
-- Daniel Ellsberg

Tie Rumsfeld down.
Behind cold steel bars at an undisclosed location,
sic German shepherds on a naked and cowering Cheney
until, broken, he gives up the names of his accomplices.

Force the neocons in the Bush administration
to have group sex with Chalabi
and a quorum of Iranian mullahs.
Coerce them into revealing the secrets
behind their intersecting conspiracies.

Blackmail John Ashcroft with lewd photos
and videotapes of his erotophobic fantasies
obtained from the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover.

Extort from him a solemn promise
that he will handcuff himself to the bars of a cell
for an indeterminate period
to investigate his own corrupt ideology
of unchecked police power by order of the State
and unlimited control over bodies and minds
of his fellow Americans.

Dress Condoleezza Rice in a dominatrix bustier.
Make her tear off the president’s mask
and put a hood over his head to cover that idiot grin.

Ship the commander-in-chief back to his ranch in Crawford
shackled to the grill of his pickup.

In the absence of actionable intelligence,
drive him head-on into a huge pile of horse manure
to extract a confession of war crimes and grand larceny.

On the road to Damascus, on the road to democracy,
Iraq is a hard place to get your kicks.

Bring the troops home before they wind up coming after us.

copyright © Uri Hertz / Third Rail 2004